What is proper Chinese etiquitte?
May 20, 2010 - 5:03 am
I am travelling to China and do not want to offend anyone. Is it rude to cross your legs in China? Is there anything in general I should know about Chinese etiquitte?
since ur american, they wont go too hard on you… but here are some simple ones:
- RESPECT!!!
- give/recieve with BOTH HANDS & don’t snatch
- always elders and ladies and kids first!!
- be pleasant but not superficially "fake"…
respect’s the big thing i suppose…
and YES, you can cross your legs… oO what kinda question’s that? lol…
May 20th, 2010 at 10:30 am
Eat your food loudly.. It’s a sign that its good. Also burping is good table manners.. And whenever you begin to feel full, always leave a little bit of food left in your plate… It’s a sign that the food was good and your stuffed.
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May 20th, 2010 at 10:54 am
It’s not rude to cross your legs, but don’t do it in formal settings. If you’re in a fancy restaurant and the waiter pours you tea, tap your index and middle finger together twice (it means thank you). Use chopsticks. Don’t hug people, unless you really really know them, shake their hand.
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May 20th, 2010 at 11:22 am
Chinese Etiquette & Protocol
Getting to Know Each Other
Greetings and Introductions
The Chinese usually do not like to do business with strangers, and will make frequent use of go-betweens. Whenever possible, try to use established relationships, or an intermediary known by both sides, to make the first contact
Chinese prefer to be formally introduced to someone new. This applies to both Chinese and foreigners.
The Chinese may seem unfriendly when being introduced. They are taught not to show excessive emotion, thus the reference to Chinese and other Asians as inscrutable.
Always stand up when being introduced and remain standing throughout the introductions.
When being introduced to Chinese, the accepted form of greeting is the handshake, even among Chinese. Chinese may also nod or slightly bow (Unlike the Japanese, the Chinese bow from the shoulders rather than the waist). One would then present a business card.
Business Card Etiquette
Use both hands when presenting business cards and be sure the writing faces the person to whom you are presenting your card. Cards should also be received with both hands. Do not immediately put the card in a pocket or bag-this is considered rude.
Follow with the standard "I am pleased to meet you, or "ni hao" in Chinese.
When seated, place cards on the table. This shows respect and is also an excellent way to remember names.
Business cards should be printed in English on one side and Chinese on the other.
Be sure to use simplified Chinese characters for China, not the classical characters used in Hong Kong and Taiwan. If traveling to China and Taiwan or Hong Kong, it is a good idea to put the different cards in separate boxes to avoid mix-ups.
Remember that China is the People’s Republic of China and Taiwan is the Republic of China
Titles & Forms of Address
The Chinese will state their last name first, followed by the given name (may be one or two syllables). For example, Liu Jianguo, in Chinese would be Mr. Jianguo Liu using the Western style.
Never call someone by only his or her last name. Unless specifically asked, do not call someone by his or her first name.
Addressing someone by his or her courtesy or professional title and last name conveys respect. In Chinese the name precedes the title. For example, Liu Xiansheng for Mr. Liu, and Liu Jingli for Manager Liu.
Women’s names cannot be distinguished from men’s names. Chinese women use their maiden names even after marriage, but may indicate marital status by using Mrs., Ms., Miss, or Madam. Mrs. Wang might be married to Mr. Liu.
Chinese who frequently deal with foreigners or travel abroad on business may adopt a Western first name, such as David Liu. They may request that they be referred to as David, once a relationship has been established.
Do not use the term "comrade" in China
Personal Questions & Compliments
Do not be surprised when asked personal questions regarding age, marital status, children, family, income, job, etc. This is done to seek common ground.
On the other hand, the Chinese will be uncomfortable with American familiarity, particularly early in a relationship. The arm around the shoulder or pat on the back with "just call me Bob" approach should be left at home.
Unlike the Western custom, compliments are not graciously accepted with a "thank you," but rather with "not at all or it was nothing." Accepting and giving direct praise is considered poor etiquette. Do not be gushy with thank yous.
Social distance, Touching & Gestures
Every culture defines proper distance. Westerners, particularly Americans, find that the Chinese comfort zone regarding distance is a bit to close for their comfort.
Instinctively Westerners may back up when others invade their space. Do not be surprised to find that the Chinese will simply step closer.
The Chinese do not like to be touched, particularly by strangers. Do not hug, back slap or put an arm around someone’s shoulder.
Do not be offended if you are pushed and shoved in a line. The Chinese do not practice the art of lining up and courtesy to strangers in public places is not required.
People of the same sex may walk hand-in-hand as a gesture of friendship in China.
Western gestures that are taboo in China include:
Pointing the index finger–use the open hand instead.
Using the index finger to call someone-use the hand with fingers motioning downward as in waving.
Finger snapping
Showing the soles of shoes.
Whistling is considered rude.
Chinese customs that are annoying to Westerners:
Belching or spitting on the street
Lack of consideration when smoking and failure to ask permission to smoke
Slurping food
Talking while eating
Dining and Entertainment Etiquette & Protocol
Entertaining guests at a Chinese banquet is an important way of establishing guanxi.
For more formal banquets, invitations will be sent and place cards will be at the table.
Guests should sample all of the dishes and leave something on the plate at the end of the meal. A clean plate indicates you are still hungry and it is the host’s responsibility to see that you are continually served food and drink.
Under no circumstances should chopsticks be placed in the rice standing up. This symbolizes death.
There are no firm rules regarding dinner conversation. Depending on the closeness of the relationship, business may or may not be discussed. Follow host’s lead.
Drinking is an important part of Chinese entertaining and is considered a social lubricant. The drinking officially begins after the host offers a short toast to the group.
It is always a good idea for the guest to return the toast either right away or after a few courses have been served.
Safe topics for toasts are friendship, pledges for cooperation, the desire to reciprocate the hospitality, and mutual benefit.
The Chinese understand if you are unable to drink alcohol. Stating medical reasons is always a good way to get out of drinking alcohol.
The most common expression for toasting is Gan bei, meaning "dry cup", or bottoms up.
The Chinese are not as understanding of tipsy guests as are the Japanese or Koreans. If you feel you have had enough, smile and politely indicate this to your host.
Do not pour your own drink. It shows a lack of protocol.
Do not underestimate the importance of participating in dining and after-dinner entertainment. It is an excellent way to build guanxi.
Gift Giving
Gifts are an important way of creating and building guanxi in China.
Chinese etiquette requires that a person decline a gift, invitation, and other offerings two or three times before accepting. It is expected that the giver will persist, gently, until the gift is accepted. Be sensitive to genuine refusals.
Chinese and Westerners differ in the approach to gifts. In the West, a sincere thank you or a thank you note is an acceptable way to extend appreciation. In China, a more tangible form, or gift, is preferred.
Never give a gift that would make it impossible for the Chinese to reciprocate-this would cause a loss of face and place them in a very difficult position.
The Chinese usually do not open gifts at the time they receive them.
When receiving gifts from the Chinese, do not open them unless they insist.
Suggested Gifts & Gift-giving Taboos
Gifts should reflect the giver and the recipient.
Consider gifts from your area. Gifts with a company logo are fine as long as they do not include things that are considered taboo and are not too showy.
Gifts of foreign cigarettes, cognac, fine whisky, quality wines are acceptable.
Do not give anything in sets of four or gifts that carry the association of death or funerals such as clocks, cut flowers, white objects. Do not give scissors or anything sharp as it symbolizes severing relations
Be cautious when giving food items-it can suggest poverty.
Always wrap gifts, but do not use white paper-it symbolizes death. Red and gold are the best. Avoid elaborately wrapping gifts.
Never write anything in red ink.
It is often said that imitation is the highest form of flattery. Taking time to learn something about Chinese culture and customs can only pay dividends.
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May 20th, 2010 at 11:50 am
A lot of unknowing foreigners may think that Chinese people lack manners, but in fact China is the land of ultimate etiquette. There are rules to follow in almost all daily situations, from eating to visiting to talking to new associates or friends, etc. Of course, manners are very different from western manners, and they sometimes may seem funny, strange or even rude for some of us, however, their etiquette is as important as it is for us, maybe more.
Handshaking is considered formal greeting behavior in China. It is used to show respect. The grip should be firm, but not overly strong, and brief, because Chinese, like other Asians, prefer a brief handshake. Hugging or kissing is not accepted unless it is among very close family members and friends. I don’t even kiss my fiancee in public when we meet after a prolonged absence!
Mianzi, the keeping of face, is very important, again like in other Asian cultures. Keeping face, avoiding embarrassment is extremely important. In all situations, never get angry or show a lot of negative emotions towards someone, even if you would be in your right to do so in your country. Saving the face in public and avoiding confrontation is considered the ultimate show of grace and politeness, especially if the people around you know you are right about an issue.
Gift giving is also important. It is considered polite to bring a small gift if you are invited to someone’s house. Nothing big or expensive (expensive gifts would be embarassing to accept, and they may even feel slightly insulted), just some candies, fruits, pastries, cigarettes, a bottle of wine, etc. The number 4 is taboo because it sounds like "death" so don’t bring anything that comes in four. The word "pear" in Chinese is also bad luck, so don’t bring pears.
Personal space is sometimes challenging for westerners. Although Chinese are usually reserved and will not be "touchy" (avoid the North American "buddy" shoulder hug or slap on the back), they tend to step very close when they talk to someone.
What else: never point with the index finger, do not snap fingers to call a waiter, instead use the hand with fingers motioning downward as in waving and say "fu yen", never whistle at someone.
You might find that some Chinese customs are quite bothersome, but that’s the way they are, and they are not a sign of impoliteness, just get used to them: spitting on the street, smoking almost everywhere even in restaurants (being offered a pack of cigarette by another man -if you are a man- is a sign of politeness and respect), eating noisily or talking while eating. And the concept of lining up is not really part of the customs, so expect people to cut in or shove you around when you wait in line. Do not retaliate or be upset, just do the same a few minutes later.
Oh yeah, NEVER eat with your fingers or pick up food that you dropped on the table, or pick at your teeth without using a toothpick and covering your mouth completely with your other hand (don’t keep the toothpick in your mouth like we do in North America).
Books have been written on Chinese etiquette, and I find that it is a great demonstration of respect and openness on your part that you are showing interest in this subject before you travel. Most foreigners don’t, unfortunately. With a little bit of research on the internet, you will be able to navigate smoothly around any formal or informal situation you will come across in this wonderful and fascinating land. Happy and safe travels.
Oh, finally, when you go to a restaurant, the waitress will drop a little packet of kleenex for each guest. I thought it was a nice gesture…little did I know! Use them sparingly at the table, because you might need them if you have to go to the bathroom because usually there is no toilet paper there. I wish someone had warned me beforehand that their main utility was not to wipe my mouth!!!
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May 20th, 2010 at 12:05 pm
Chinese etiquette are generally as same as west country,unless some minorities’ in China, so u needn’t be worry about it .
PS, the first answer is severe wrong.
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May 20th, 2010 at 12:30 pm
Don’t worry about crossing your legs. Chinese do that too.
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May 20th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
The biggest thing with Chinese is that they are not as energetic as most westerners. The best thing is to be nice to them and if you do something wrong, the chinese have known how Westerners act and they will understand.
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May 20th, 2010 at 1:13 pm
since ur american, they wont go too hard on you… but here are some simple ones:
- RESPECT!!!
- give/recieve with BOTH HANDS & don’t snatch
- always elders and ladies and kids first!!
- be pleasant but not superficially "fake"…
respect’s the big thing i suppose…
and YES, you can cross your legs… oO what kinda question’s that? lol…
References :
May 20th, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Look, the only etiquette you need to know is extreme patience and do not drive in China. Traffic is crazy in China. Green light at the Pedastrian crossing does not mean you can just go. Watch out for the bicycles and motorcycles and get us to the car honks.
Plus, spitting and smoking is common in restaurants except Western Style fast food stores. Don’t get mad if some lady or people just cut the line.
Yea yea, it sounds bad etc etc but I have been living in Shanghai for close to a year and for the first timer, these are the things you have to get use. Other than that, whatever etiquette you have should be sufficient and there is no such thing as crossing the leg thing being bad.
Some of the above are really some Nationalist propaganda right, come on….I love being in China but you are going to tell a first time foreigner to just cross the road when its green in Shanghai?. LOL
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experience….you don’t like the truth?.
May 20th, 2010 at 2:29 pm
Unless you are asking about Business etiquitte, the informal visits are not as stiff as most think. They are generally not very tactile people, so keep the physicall contact to the hand shakes. Crossing legs is OK. Much were mentioned by the previous answerers already.
Just a few more precautions when invited to dinners.
You can probably get away from not accepting a cigerette when offered but it’s hard to do with alcohol. Try to balance between offending the host and being falling down drunk. (It’s not as easy as most think) Don’t finish food on the plate nor any plate on the table. Sigh…it’s wasteful but that’s the ettiqitte of a host, empty plates = stingy host. Otherwise, relaxe, they are not hostile even if you slip a little here and there.
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May 20th, 2010 at 3:18 pm
Listen to YKPhil, as this is an everyday view of Chinese life, not one from a book, he is very right!
Also know that Chinese people are very accepting of foreigners and will surely NOT be offended if you don t follow their customs to perfection.
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been living here for more than 4 years
May 20th, 2010 at 3:51 pm
make sure you don’t bring any kleenex as they consider it dirty, and practice spitting hockers everywhere.
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